Until recently, I avoided the computer and Facebook (still do actually) and limited my exposure to intelligent/interesting friends who had known me before the accident and might have expectations for my behavior that I wouldn’t be able to meet. The idea to blog about my TBI and making my kids’ lunches came to me on a whim and was something I never would’ve considered if I weren’t limited by my diagnosis. My disability gave me permission to write below my standards and to correct even after a post is published. My expectations of myself have been dramatically lowered and in some ways it has freed me.
I don’t feel this way about conversing with people socially. If all of my social interaction could be in the morning when I am at my best, I would probably be fine, but most of my former activities of choice are available to me only in the evening. I look forward to an event, then feel progressively anxious as I become fatigued and my symptoms seem more noticeable. I am aware that I sometimes make people uncomfortable or unsure of what to say. The more caught up in my own head I am, the more symptoms I exhibit.
I’ve been really surprised by how much I have to say about my experience and how much I want to educate and share my findings with the next person who hears their doctor say that there is nothing they can do to improve their outcome and fails to mention that feelings of being a burden are just a symptom and that this too, shall pass.
When this blog was created, I focused on my bento box creations and wanted to share the fun and ideas with other parents. Now, I rather regret my webpage title as it might prevent someone from clicking who could benefit from more than just the multitude of ways I can make Anime characters out of food. I guess that is par for the course when the person deciding on the best way to present their information forgets about half the information they want to share. But enough about brains, I need to save my energy for making rats out of cheese.