Maybe this was too emotional, or maybe it needed to be said
My husband says I need to water the kale and cover it as it gets cooler if I want to enjoy it through the winter but my stomach hurts too much to talk about kale or lunches or much of anything. I have been pushed too far. I try to remain unaffected by politics, but I am not sleeping well. I am finding myself unable to make excuses and feign tolerance for behaviors driven by the worst possible propensities in our culture. The wool has been pulled from my eyes and I am struggling to bite my tongue. I am not proud of my country. My children can’t hear more excuses for behavior that can’t be excused. A rich and powerful contingent that manipulates and deceives the poor and uneducated into voting against their interests is destroying our planet in the interest of lining their already fat pocketbooks and it is just business as usual. I pity those who don’t know any better as they will suffer for their err. I am afraid to put to words what I feel for those who know better, yet vote for yet another tax break while tomorrow is not assured. I am speaking to no one, because I am afraid of what I will say. Is this hate? I am unfamiliar with it, but can I feel less for those who gamble with my children’s future? Maybe my husband is right and our new president’s unpredictable nature will yield some surprise wins, but I am not soothed. That this could happen at all, especially under the hand of the electoral college, had robbed me of faith. Capitalism without restraint is a monster and we are rewarding sin and corruption with power. I can’t even say the word this political situation brings to mind, it sounds true dramatic and religious, but I feel it in my stomach. Connor votes that we take up residence in Denmark, but my husband says we stay and fight. As a mother, I suppose I have no choice.
I do have a choice. I am choosing not to hate or fear or exist in this dark place. I had to live in it for a while to see truth. I am choosing light.